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New Wording For The Bible- No More Booty

An updated version of the Bible is set to be released by the Catholic Church on Ash Wednesday. This new bible has changed some of the wording of the Scripture to compensate for the evolution of language. For example, the term “booty”, which now has an entirely different meaning, will be changed to “spoils” and the term “holocaust” will be changed to “burnt offering.” These changes represent... 

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Lightning Blasts Christ Statue, touchdown jesus on Fire

With one big bolt of lightning a six-story statue of Jesus Christ was burned to the ground Monday night. A severe thunderstom quickly moved through Monroe, Ohio at about 11:15 pm when the lightning strikes occurred. The 40 foot wide statue showed Jesus from the torso up with his arms raised upward. The statue was made of steel and fiberglass, that is what attracted the lightning. The statue briefly... 

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American Woman Killed With Cross

An elderly woman’s body was found in the Central United Methodist Church in Hamlin, Arkansas. Lillian Wilson was found underneath a pew around noon by Pastor Dixon Platt. Platt was worried when Wilson did not show up for service and went to find her. Wilson’s two sons and friends were at her house working when she was killed. Wilson was an active part of the community and an avid animal lover.... 

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Evangelist Gets Life For Killing His Wife

In a court in Mobile Alabama, Anthony Hopkins received a sentence of life, plus an additional 51 years. He is convicted of the murder of Arletha Hopkins, his wife. The investigators in the case, stated that in 2004, Hopkins killed his spouse and placed her body in the family’s freezer. They stated the motive was that Arletha caught him in the act of the sexually abusing his step-daughter. Mobile’s... 

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Pope Acknowledges Church Sex Scandals

Tuesday, Pope Benedict revealed that the greatest threat to the Roman Catholic Church is the internal sex scandals and subsequent policy of prevarication when confronted by the press. Before this, the church had been relatively reticent about the exposed scandals in the United States and more recently in Europe. The Pope acceded that forgiveness cannot override justice. The Pontiff, for the first time,... 

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Controversial Cartoonist Attacked

A Swedish cartoonist is seeing the repercussions of a cartoon that he drew in 2007 that depicted the prophet Mohammed. Lars Vilks, the man behind the Muhammad cartoon, was attacked when he entered a classroom where he was about to deliver a lecture to around 250 students. When five people began to protest, uniformed and non-uniformed police came in to calm the protesters before the lecture began. Vilks... 

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Lebanon Claims Latest Title in “Hummus Wars”

Despite decades of military tensions between the two countries, Lebanon and Israel have put aside their differences when it comes to one topic – hummus. The paste, made of mashed-up chickpeas, is a staple food in the region and the two countries have been in an arms race to create the world’s largest hummus dish. In its most recent attempt, Lebanon went all out. More than 300 chefs helped... 

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Mosque To Be Built At Ground Zero Of 911

Despite some public protest, the green light has been given for a mosque to be built in the area of Ground Zero. The 12 person New York City Community Board approved the plan. The project is to be in the rangle of $100 Million dollars. The location of the mosque will be directly across the street where the Twin Towers once stood in a building that was damaged in the area on 9/11. There has been a huge... 

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Gay Lutheran Pastor Reinstated

A gay pastor who was the head of the biggest Lutheran church in the United States has been reinstated by the pastorate. The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America had stated that they were against gays in the church and the Rev. Bradley Schmeling and his partner Rev. Darin Easler had been stripped of their duties. Now comes word that the Chicago based church group has rescinded their decision and the... 

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Lord Jesus Christ Returns, Struck By Car

It seems that, while the Lord Jesus Christ could walk on water, he cannot cross the street safely. No need to throw your bibles, there really was a Massachusetts man whose legal name is Lord Jesus Christ. The man was run down by a motorist while he was trying to cross a street on Tuesday. The 50-year-old man was crossing a street in Northampton, Mass. using a crosswalk when he was suddenly run over... 

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